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Imagine if you will a therapy that is based on what is “right” with the client. The purpose of that therapy would be to focus on what is working and to increase that, which is working, in your life and in the life of those around you. Is that a novel concept? Imagine waiting to catch someone doing something right. Saying things that are positive about others. Looking at what is valuable and wonderful in others. This is not about denying what is...
In the most simple terms, the inner adult is always operating in the here and now, the inner child is always operating in the then and there. Inner adult equals present. Inner child equals past. The inner child is very needy and at times afraid, the inner child wants to be right, is consistently going into the past and replaying incidents from that past and wanting to correct them. The inner child does not consider this as wasted energy, the fact that ...
The inner child wants to be acknowledged for everything that he or she has any contact with. The inner child wants praise, needs praise to feel good about themselves. When a person does something that is praiseworthy the inner child wants to be sure that everyone knows who was the person responsible. The inner child feels so much need for notice that he or she will do anything to get that notice. It is important for the inner child to be acknowledged and...
It has been said that “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. I used to believe that and now I am not so certain. I am not so certain that pain is inevitable. I am not so naive to believe that we will not go through situations that will cause us some discomfort, I question whether it has to be painful? Is the experience of pain something that we are born with or is it something that we learn from others? I am not referring to physical pain, I am...
That is quite a mouthful, and there are people who absolutely enjoy suffering. If you ask them about it they will swear that suffering is the worst thing that can happen to a person, especially them, and then go on to tell you how much they are suffering and why, and how no one understands, and they cannot do anything about it. If you make a suggestion, about how they can do something about their suffering, they will explain to you why that will not work....
There is the “Groucho Marx syndrome” the belief that goes, if someone wants to be with me then they cannot be that wonderful. There are time when we meet someone who is really wonderful and beautiful and they are all of the traits we say we want in a partner. Things are wonderful for a time, there is joy and happiness and fun and then the Groucho Marx syndrome sets in. The thought come along that they cannot possibly be as wonderful as we thought they...
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
Groucho MarxImagine if you will a therapy that is based on what is “right” with the client. The purpose of that therapy would be to focus on what is working and to increase that, which is working, in your life and in the life of those around you. Is that a novel concept?
Imagine waiting to catch someone doing something right. Saying things that are positive about others. Looking at what is valuable and wonderful in others. This is not about denying what is going on in your life, it is about not focusing on those things that are not working in your life and beginning to put your focus on those things that are working. It is about focusing on that part of your relationship that is wonderful and joyful and remembering that, when there is upset and disagreement.
Q: What was the motivation behind creating “Going There: A Seminar for Women?”
A: To support women in recognizing their true worth and to help them understand that they don’t have to “settle”. I want to help women recognize that they can have what they want and that they deserve it. Too often women feel that they must give to others, putting themselves last. Our society promotes the idea that women must nurture and care for others. The idea of the seminar is to show women that they are also entitled to be nurtured and cared for in return.
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